May I have your attention, please?May I have your attention, please?Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?We're gonna have a problem hereYa'll act like you never seen a white person beforeJaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the doorAnd started whoopin' her ass worse than beforeThey first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Ahh)It's the return of the, oh wait, no way, you're kiddingHe didn't just say what I think he did, did heAnd Dr. Dre said, nothing you idiotsDr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Haha)Feminist women love EminemChicka-chicka-chicka Slim Shady, I'm sick of himLook at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-whatFlippin' the you-know-who, yeah but he's so cute thoughYeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head looseBut no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents bedroomsSometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can'tBut it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead mooseMy bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lipsAnd if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kissAnd that's the message that we deliver to little kidsAnd expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris isOf course they're gonna know what intercourse isBy the time they hit fourth gradeThey got the Discovery Channel don't theyWe ain't nothin' but mammalsWell, some of us are cannibalsWho cut other people open like cantaloupesBut if we can hump dead animals and antelopesThen there's no reason that a man and another man can't elopeBut if you feel like I feel, I got the antidoteWomen wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goesI'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys, are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady, please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys, are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady, please stand upPlease stand up, please stand upWill Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell recordsWell I do, so fuck him and fuck you tooYou think I give a damn about a GrammyHalf of you critics can't even stomach meLet alone stand meBut Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weirdWhy, so you guys can just lie to get me hereSo you can sit me here next to Britney SpearsShit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairsSo I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred DurstAnd hear 'em argue over who she gave head to firstLittle bitch put me on blast on MTVYeah he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, heheI should download her audio on mp3And show the whole world, how you gave Eminem VD (Ahh)I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy meSo I have been sent here to destroy youAnd there's a million of us just like meWho cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like meWho dress like me, walk talk and act like meAnd just might be, the next best thing, but not quite me'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys, are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady, please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys, are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady, please stand upPlease stand up, please stand upI'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' youThings you joke about with your friends inside your livin' roomThe only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'llAnd I don't gotta be false or sugar-coat it at allI just get on the mic and spit itAnd whether you like to admit it, I just shit itBetter than ninety percent of you rappers out canThen you wonder, how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?It's funny 'cause at the rate I'm goin' when I'm thirtyI'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirtingPinchin' nurses asses while I'm jackin' off with JergensAnd I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion ringsOr in the parkin' lot circling, screamin' I don't give a fuckWith his windows down and his system upSo will the real Shady, please stand upAnd put one of those fingers, on each hand upAnd be proud to be outta your mind and outta controlAnd one more time loud as you can how does it goI'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys, are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady, please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys, are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady, please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys, are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady, please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys, are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady, please stand upPlease stand up, please stand upHaha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of usFuck it, let's all stand up
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